C H I L D R E N

I think about children every single day. My children. The one child I have here on Earth and the others still in the loving care of our Heavenly Father.

I have had dreams, one in particular of kneeling in a circle with my husband and children.  Looking around the circle seeing all our children and being so happy that these little souls were mine. This dream is what gives me hope and assurance that more are coming. 

Before my family moved to Charlotte my husband and I saw an infertility specialist in Atlanta.  We thought our prayers would finally be answered and with a few thousand dollars we would have what we were seeking.  In our first visit our doctor said we were an easy case... We were young, already had a child and we didn't smoke or drink!  We took every test imagineable and to my surprise, and I really mean surprise, nothing was wrong with me or my hubby! I was positive I had pcos or blocked tubes or even hormonal imbalances. nope. Nada.  Nothing!! 

Right when we were ready for some treatment, perhaps IUI, my husband accepted a job offer in Charlotte that he couldn't pass up.  So, after all the tests and waiting we were going to put plan baby on hold. 

After moving to Charlotte, for some reason I didn't want to pursue a specialist just yet and my husband felt the same way. We knew we would be lead to the right doctor at the right time. I didn't feel rushed or on a timeline anymore or the anticipation of who was getting pregnant next. Mind you, all of my friends or family members who had infertility issues were already pregnant or had their hoped for child and as happy as I was for them, I had a hard time being the last one to bear this trial. 

I think our move to Charlotte has been the best remedy for my infertility.  I needed space and a fresh place to learn and grow. 

I was introduced by my neighbor, Laura to an obgyn office that did a more natural approach to infertility, pregnancy and birth. I made an appointment right away and haven't looked back.  The staff already feels like family to me and I have the best doctor in the world. The office is a fully functioning obgyn and birthing center and it's a special place.  I feel peace, hope and assurance that things will work out.  

I know my trial with infertilty will pass someday and life will unfold new challenges and hurdles.  I am, however, grateful for the aspects of my life that are not struggles or trials.  Like my marriage.  I married a good man, honest and loving and we have a wonderful family life with our son.  Our home is full of love and laughter and that right there is heaven on earth.  

  

sip and see

I want to come back blogging in an effort to share myself, all of me.  Not just updating on family milestones but writing about the things that make me tick, or not tick each day.  The past 3 1/2 years I have been waiting and waiting for things to happen, the type of things that anyone would expect to occur within the last 3 1/2 years. In retrospect, I would get sad and disappointed that we didn't progress in ways everyone else seemed to be.

Our main goal was to have more children 

and for our family to grow.  

We didn't grow in the way I would have expected, 
but we did grow. 
In heart and strength.
In having charity and love.  
In patience and endurance.
In relating to others and having empathy.  
In all, we have only learned and progressed to be more like Christ, which is our most divine goal and life-long desire. 

I have found that having a hope for all things gets me through the day.  I hope to have a family continually growing in the Gospel.  Hope to be happy in all things.  Hope to settle down and buy a home and a hope for more children.
Which is why I am writing this blog, to keep the hope alive and burning strong.