I think about children every single day. My children. The one child I have here on Earth and the others still in the loving care of our Heavenly Father.
I have had dreams, one in particular of kneeling in a circle with my husband and children. Looking around the circle seeing all our children and being so happy that these little souls were mine. This dream is what gives me hope and assurance that more are coming.
Before my family moved to Charlotte my husband and I saw an infertility specialist in Atlanta. We thought our prayers would finally be answered and with a few thousand dollars we would have what we were seeking. In our first visit our doctor said we were an easy case... We were young, already had a child and we didn't smoke or drink! We took every test imagineable and to my surprise, and I really mean surprise, nothing was wrong with me or my hubby! I was positive I had pcos or blocked tubes or even hormonal imbalances. nope. Nada. Nothing!!
Right when we were ready for some treatment, perhaps IUI, my husband accepted a job offer in Charlotte that he couldn't pass up. So, after all the tests and waiting we were going to put plan baby on hold.
After moving to Charlotte, for some reason I didn't want to pursue a specialist just yet and my husband felt the same way. We knew we would be lead to the right doctor at the right time. I didn't feel rushed or on a timeline anymore or the anticipation of who was getting pregnant next. Mind you, all of my friends or family members who had infertility issues were already pregnant or had their hoped for child and as happy as I was for them, I had a hard time being the last one to bear this trial.
I think our move to Charlotte has been the best remedy for my infertility. I needed space and a fresh place to learn and grow.
I was introduced by my neighbor, Laura to an obgyn office that did a more natural approach to infertility, pregnancy and birth. I made an appointment right away and haven't looked back. The staff already feels like family to me and I have the best doctor in the world. The office is a fully functioning obgyn and birthing center and it's a special place. I feel peace, hope and assurance that things will work out.
I know my trial with infertilty will pass someday and life will unfold new challenges and hurdles. I am, however, grateful for the aspects of my life that are not struggles or trials. Like my marriage. I married a good man, honest and loving and we have a wonderful family life with our son. Our home is full of love and laughter and that right there is heaven on earth. 
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5 comments:
Love you Sister! You are a beautiful mother and I am so lucky to have you as an example. I can't wait for your other children to join your beautiful family!!! Love you!
hi there! my name is jen, i am michelle crowther's sister in law and i started reading your blog long ago. i totally know how you are feeling! after i had my son, and he was like 18 months old we started trying for baby #2, we tried and tried for over 2 years, i went to my doctor he said i was fine and blah blah blah all in good time. after graduate school we moved to richmond Virginia and a girl in my ward gave me a great recommendation for an awesome OBGYN. So i was lucky and got into him, he didnt examine - he took me right into his office and talk to me. i thought maybe my thyroid, i run all the time but never would lose weight and thought maybe thats what was affecting my "not getting pregnant", so i thought something along those lines. well he told me i needed to fix my diet and put me on the south beach diet. he told me to do the first phase for 3 weeks and then just follow the next steps in the book, that was hard at first and i had a few cheats here and there (but i really wanted to get pregnant), but doing south beach did amazing things to my body and system AND along with that he did tons of blood work, and come to find my vitamin D levels were non-existent. so they put me on a 4,000 unit a day V-D pill - my doctor said with the diet and pill, the next time i saw him, he said i'd be pregnant - and sure enough 8 weeks later, i was! so crazy. it's so hard to be told nothing is wrong with you, and still can't get pregnant. my V-D levels had never been checked before this doctor - and low V-D levels make your reproductive system shut down. who knew? and maybe you've had your levels check and they are fine, but if you havent had them check, I would, and I would start taking a 2,000 unit V-D Daily. I've had other friends too who have gone through the exact same thing as you - and it was there vitamin D too. So anyways I figured I would at least share this with you, just, JUST in case maybe that was something that hadn't been checked yet. :) hope it's okay i shared this with you!! best of luck! xoxo :)
Thanks sissy. You are a beautiful reminder that a baby does come!!
Hey Jen, nice to meet you via internet! I so miss that Michelle Crowther, give her a hug for me the next time you see her.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. It is comforting to know others have faced my situation and had a wonderful outcome. I'm not sure my vitamin-d was looked at, but worth looking into. Thanks for sharing!
-Carolyn
Miss Caroline, I sure miss you. I know the Lord is mindful of you because you are one of the most Christlike people I have ever known. Because of that, I know he will bless you. I love you, friend! I pray for you continually. I know you are one of the best moms that could ever be. XOXO Muffy
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