lost:
These family pictures taken by my sister Leanna and her hubby Ernesto captured the true happiness I was feeling all of December. At this point, our family was growing and little Charlie would have a sibling around August 15th. I was so so so so so so so so HAPPY to be pregnant again. We told our families and best friends about our news and Christmas time was pure bliss with the good news of a baby coming.
New Years day I started spotting. I wasn't worried until the next day, when I started bleeding.
A trip to the ER and 3 more visits to my obgyn, the unsettling feeling I had was true... I was having a miscarriage.
A miscarriage.
It was just a few weeks before I called my new obgyn office to schedule my first prenatal, tell my insurance that I was in fact pregnant, and also telling family and friends our exciting news.
Now I had to undo it all.
found:
That first week of January I had a lot of time to think. Think about what I had, think about what was happening to me, and think about how I was going to handle it.
I still went to church, accepted a second calling, went on dates with my hubby, watched my son every day, cooked and cleaned, started my FINAL semester of college, attended mommy playgroups, built friendships, helped with a baptism and more. These little things helped me get through this sad time.
I still had to live my life, the same way I was before but with more meaning.
That is my best advice for someone going through a loss. Stay strong and live your life.
Whenever I get sad about the loss, I tip-toe into little Charlies bedroom and lie on the floor next to his bed. I just close my eyes and listen to him breathe in and out. Even though I lost this baby, I have another baby that is living and he is so special. The blessings I have right now are so special to me and I need to remember that. I have a knowledge and testimony that God lives and loves me. He is aware of me and my family, He is aware of my situation and He has not forgotten me.
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